When Your Goals Aren’t Really Yours

At some point in my own career journey, I realized something unsettling: My goals had stopped being my own. Somewhere along the way, they had morphed into something that didn’t feel authentic or aligned with who I am. The worst part? By the time I recognized this, it felt too late to turn back.

No one grows up with the dream of climbing the corporate ladder just to reach a title like "Associate Director." It’s not a goal you write down as a child, or even as a young adult fresh out of school. And yet, many of us find ourselves chasing these roles, as if they represent some storied fable with a final destination of success. But do they really?

The Arbitrary Carrots

I’ve come to realize that many of these titles and promotions are just arbitrary carrots, designed to hold the attention of a workforce. They keep us engaged, focused on the next milestone, the next accolade, the next title. But what’s the real purpose behind them? Are they there to help us grow as individuals? Are they reflective of our true ambitions? Often, the answer is no. They’re there to maintain the structure of the corporate machine, to keep us striving for something just out of reach.

The corporate ladder is a system that rewards us for playing by its rules, but it doesn’t necessarily reward us for being true to ourselves. In fact, it often distracts us from pursuing the things that would actually bring meaning to our lives. We get caught up in the race for titles, raises, and recognition, only to realize later that we’ve spent years chasing someone else’s definition of success.

The Reality of Layoffs

Now, as layoffs become more frequent in many industries, it’s easier to see the reality of the situation. When companies are forced to shrink, they start cutting the layers that were once held up as aspirational. The same titles we worked so hard for, the ones that seemed like the pinnacle of achievement, are now the first on the chopping block. It’s a harsh reminder that these roles—these so-called "achievements"—were never really about us, but rather about filling a space in a larger corporate hierarchy.

In times of crisis, it becomes clear which layers are truly necessary, and which ones were created to maintain an illusion of progress. It’s not that the work or the people in these roles are unimportant—it’s that, in the grand scheme of things, the titles we strive for are often less essential than we’ve been led to believe.

What’s Next?

So, what do you do when you realize that your goals weren’t really yours to begin with? For me, it’s been an uncomfortable but necessary reckoning. I’ve had to ask myself hard questions:

What do I really want?

What am I passionate about?

What would success look like if I defined it for myself, without the arbitrary carrots of corporate culture?

I don’t have all the answers yet, but I do know this: I’m no longer interested in chasing goals that don’t resonate with me. I’m no longer content to let someone else’s metrics dictate my path. It’s time to take control of my own career, my own aspirations, and to pursue the things that truly matter to me.

A Final Thought

If you’re feeling lost in the corporate maze, chasing titles that don’t feel authentic or fulfilling, you’re not alone. It’s easy to get swept up in the pursuit of things that, in the end, don’t really matter. But it’s never too late to pause, reflect, and recalibrate. Success should be personal, not something imposed by a system that treats people as expendable layers.

The real challenge is to define success on your own terms—and to have the courage to pursue it, even if it doesn’t align with the corporate world’s expectations.