Executive Coaches Have a Common Trait: Shared Trauma and the Desire to Heal Their Pasts
I’ve had the opportunity to meet and work with many executive coaches over the years, and while we all come from different backgrounds—whether it's psychology, business, education, or even the arts—there’s something that often connects us on a deeper level.
It’s something I’ve thought about a lot: Do many of us turn to coaching because of our own personal experiences, our own struggles? I’m starting to believe the answer is yes.
Coaching: More Than Just Helping Others
On the surface, coaching is about guiding others—helping them unlock their potential, get past roadblocks, and become better versions of themselves. And yes, that’s a huge part of it. But here’s the thing: for a lot of us, coaching is also about healing our own pasts.
I’ve had so many conversations with fellow coaches who’ve shared stories of personal hardship or their own moments of self-doubt that led them to this work. Maybe they were stuck in a toxic work environment or hit a point in their lives where they felt completely lost. I know I’ve been there too. And it’s those experiences that often push us into this field—not just to help others, but to better understand ourselves.
Coaching, for many of us, becomes a way to process our pasts, reframe tough experiences, and help others navigate similar challenges. It’s like a two-way street where both coach and client are on a journey of growth and healing.
Trauma Isn’t Always a Huge Catastrophe
Now, when I say “trauma,” I don’t necessarily mean the big, life-shattering kind—though that can happen too. Trauma can be the quiet kind: a series of setbacks, a loss of purpose, or even just feeling like you’re not enough. These experiences leave a mark, and for many of us in coaching, they spark a desire for transformation.
We want to understand why we hit those rough patches and how we got through them. And once we figure that out, we can empathize with others who are stuck in their own struggles. That empathy is what makes so many coaches effective. We’ve been there. We know what it feels like to be overwhelmed, lost, or just plain stuck. But we also know there’s a way through it—because we’ve lived it.
Coaching as Self-Healing
For some of us, coaching isn’t just about helping others grow. It’s about our own healing too. Every time I help a client work through their struggles, I can’t help but think about my own journey. It’s like I’m revisiting those tough moments but with a new perspective and a sense of empowerment.
Coaching allows me to acknowledge how far I’ve come, while also letting go of the things that no longer serve me. In a way, it’s like healing my own wounds while I’m helping others heal theirs. It’s a beautiful, mutual exchange.
Does This Apply to All Coaches?
Of course, not every coach may feel this way. Some might be in it purely for their love of leadership, personal development, or the desire to help others. And that’s great! But for many of us, there’s something deeply personal about this work. It’s about making sense of our own struggles and turning that pain into something constructive.
In helping others grow, we’re also continuing our own journey of growth and healing. It’s this shared experience that gives us a unique ability to empathize and guide others on their own paths.
Turning Pain Into Purpose
While I’m not saying every coach is driven by trauma, I do think many of us have found our way here because we’ve faced challenges that shaped us. And now, we want to help others overcome their own.
At its core, coaching is about transformation—for both the coach and the client. And in many ways, that transformation is about turning our own pain into something meaningful, something that helps others.
So, if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, just know that you’re not alone. Many of us have been there too, and we’ve found a way through—and we’re here to help you do the same.
